That love♥

I NEED TO FOCUS.

2010-07-01T22:21:00.000+08:00

i've been feeling rather empty lately. personally i don't understand why. it's only the 4th day since school started but i feel like its been months. i feel like giving up, yet i don't. confusing? i know. the last past 4 days has been filled with non stop studying and drama at the same time. its not like i need the drama part at all. i guess that part of my life is finally over. i feel bad for whatever happened, but you should know that you brought this upon yourself. enough is enough. i need to concentrate on my target. i must not give up. i can do it. i will achieve what i want.

BON VOYAGE

2010-06-10T01:27:00.000+08:00

the school holidays has been nothing but packed with extra lessons & a whole lot of D&T. I'm glad rachelle & perry have been coming over to watch movies for the past few days. even though we don't do much & we just lay around talking & fighting for no reason.. it's been really fun. i'm finally going on holiday with my family, although the excitement has died in me. i guess its cause my mind is stuck on school work & if i'll be able to finish my coursework on time. i bet when i'm there i'll get totally change & go crazy. either that or i'll be stuck in the hotel due to my bad throat. i've finally finished packing & my dad thinks i over packed! but its not the clothes he's talking about its all the other stuff, i guess i'd rather be safe than sorry. i'm supposed to be asleep right now, i've got to wake up at 3am! instead i'm waiting for matthew to stop gaming & call me! MATT, HURRY UP!

WHAT IF?

2010-06-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

I've finally started packing for my trip after a week of stalling. while packing i feel kinda disturbed so i stopped & left everything as it is. so now my room is in a total mess but that's not the point, i sat down and started thinking.. what if i don't come back from my trip? what if something goes wrong? what if....? you see there's loads of what if(s) in life. should i spend my time worrying about something that might or might not happen? i guess not, this is a trip my family really needs. after this i'll be busy preparing for O's and my bro will be going off to NS. oh well, i should stop thinking too much & should really get back to packing(:

MY FLAME HAS BURNT OUT.

2010-06-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving for Brisbane this coming thursday! anyone who's in my place should feel at least a spark of excitement right? but i'm not excited at all, instead i'm really exhausted. been busy doing D&T for the past few days, coming up with dimensions for a product is reallt hard work! its worse than coming up with the design of the product. see?! i've been living, eating & breathing D&T that all i can think/talk/blog about is D&T. BORING MUCH?!

okay okay, i need to take my mind off D&T right NOW. i really should start packing for my trip soon, i've got 2 days left to pack. i always do last minute things when it comes to travelling! hmmmm.. what i need right now is sleep.

STARTING A NEW♥

2010-06-05T21:49:00.000+08:00

okay, i need a change. i've been lazing around ever since school started. i need to get up & starting moving( more like studying). ANYWAYS, KAIJUN HELPED ME CHANGE MY BLOG SKIN! ♥♥♥ YOU BABE! i'll be blogging more often nowadays i hope.. alright, back to my movie!

DEAD TIRED.

2010-05-29T23:19:00.002+08:00

i haven't blogged for a long time! i'm just too busy with things right now! i'm having mother tongue O levels paper on monday & i'm starting to get super nervous! ahhhh! wish me luck people!

MAYBE ITS JUST ME

2010-04-01T22:32:00.002+08:00

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY.

Today i was on a misson, the objective was to prank as many people as i can. It turned out pretty well too! Mr Issac was covered in powder the first period, then many of my classmates ate oreo which had toothpaste inside instead of cream! it was hilarious. during the next lesson all the excitement died down & turned into pure frustration.. some people are so biased nowadays & tell rub it in your face that life is never fair. Went for some interview, it helped me cool down & smile again. Slowly, the pranks continued... several people in the canteen ate oreos filled with toothpaste! Mr Hock, Mdm Koh & Mdm Ter got covered with powder too! it was hilarious. hahaha. today was awesome!

I'LL BLOG MORE OFTEN.

2010-03-30T19:01:00.003+08:00

There's one more day of March left, I can't wait for it to be over & for the month of April to arrive! March has been full of melodramatic events causing unwanted hatred & anger. I've been so caught up with pathetic problems that i've neglected my studies & some of my friends. But its not all bad, i've also bonded with certain people who used to be my acquaintance. The only thing I'm bringing on to April is the friends I've made, other than that i'm saying goodbye to everything that has brought me down & made me go into depression for quite awhile. After doing some thinking I've decided to make several changes to my life. I think things are going to be awesome from now onwards(:

P.S/ASHLEY,XIAO'EN I DID BLOG! hahahah

2010-03-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

♥AWAITING THE MONTH OF APRIL♥

YOU'RE SUCH A JERK.

2010-03-08T18:46:00.002+08:00

HELLO BLOGGGG!

okay its been a super long time since i blogged but i've got loads to share! you know that ass i've been dating?! well he turned out to be a total jerk who breaks up with girls for no fucking reason! cool eh?! anyways, he's full of shit & lies and basically he's crap! now, why would i be humiliating him you might wonder.... its because he didn't have the balls to break up with me & had to come up with stupid lies! like....."my dad confiscated my phone so i won't talk to you" now imagine a dad confiscating a 19 year old guy's phone?! isn't it dumb?! what's more is... he thought by deleting his blog, he could cover up his tracks of being a jerk or should i say a two timer? but he wasn't smart enough so i found his blog.... wanna know what kinds of mushy disgusting stuff was on it?! if you do... tell me & i'll send you the link! i have never bad mouth any of my ex boyfriends... this is the first cause he SUCKS!

i love my life(:

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME

2010-02-19T17:07:00.002+08:00

OKAY, MY BLOG IS D-E-A-D.

i don't really have the time to blog but there's alot going on. when i have the time i'll put it all into one super long post! time passes so fast now a days, soon i'll be sitting for O's! i'm struggling to keep up with time right now, i've just got to learn not to look back.

NOTHING TO DO.

2010-01-26T14:25:00.003+08:00

okay i'm didn't go to school today and have nothing to do.. i'm waiting for jonathan to end school so we can go to SSC to buy stuff.. oh, since i haven't been blogging regularly & had to type out my essay for some competition i shall post it here to entertain who ever reads my blog(:

so here it is... my totally random compo of life!

As I stood by the road waiting for the traffic light to turn red, I see the lights change from green to yellow and then finally red. This sparked a thought in me, as the lights changed colour it seemed to symbolise the events of life. Green when everything was fine and I was enjoying life, yellow for when things started turning bad and more problems seemed to be arising and red when I started giving up and my mind was over crowded with so many events that it just stopped working.

I used to be a happy-go-lucky girl, who was always out going and voluble. I had always thought life was beautiful. This is due to my perfect family, awesome friends and my lovely boyfriend. My life defined the interpretation of perfection and I hoped it would last forever. But little did I know that life was not so nice to people.

As the days went by, my parents started quarrelling more often, my friends told me I was neglecting them and my boyfriend was starting to act differently with me. With my mid-year examinations coming up and all these problems to face, I did not know what to do. I did not want to think of anything but could not bear to lose my boyfriend so I spent all my time with him. My other problems just kept getting worse and I was rapidly deproving in my school work as well. Yet I still chose to let things be as it is as I did not know how to face my problems, this was the bad point of thinking that life would always be perfect. What I did not realise was that the traffic light of my life had just changed its signal to yellow, the warning light was flashing but I decided to turn away.

On the first day of exams which was my English paper, my boyfriend decided to breakup with me. Shocked by the sudden move he made, I had a hard time concentrating during my paper. After a horrible 2 hours, the exam ended. It slowly started to sink in that I was just being used and now that he did not need me, he had thrown me away. The sweet, lovable guy I knew had just ditched me. The pain was unbearable. It felt like being pricked by a thousand needles simultaneously. Desperately in need to talk to someone, I headed to look for my friends. When i found them, they did not look too happy to see me. They simply turned their backs to me and walked off. This could not be happening to me, I thought to myself, “my life is perfect!” These were the words that had been running on replay in my mind from the start. I pushed my problems away thinking they would solve themselves. At that moment I knew my life had made a 360 degrees turn and I was lost in my own fantasy world. I felt like I had awakened from a sweet slumber to face the reality of life. No more thoughts of my beautiful life, no more sweet happy moments, there was simply nothing.

Everything started turning blur and all of sudden I saw nothing but darkness. My eye lids fluttered open and I took a long brief scan of my surrounding before registering the situation and being able to comprehend what had happened. Lying on the hospital bed, I scanned the worried, horrified faces of my parents and friends. But the face I was hoping to see was not amongst them, my boyfriend or rather my ex boyfriend had not bothered to come down and visit me. That was then it hit me. If only I had spent a moment to think things through and sort out my priorities before, this would not have happened. If only I had chosen to handle my problems with my family, friends and studies first, things would have been different.

I did not need a relationship but I had one. I needed my family and friends but I decided to let these problems pass and concentrate on my relationship. I neglected my studies for something less important and had to learn things the hard way by failing my mid-year examination, becoming severely depressed, losing my friends and finally ending up in the hospital. To awaken and see things in a new perspective is a second chance at life for me. The green signal of my life’s traffic light had yet again started flashing. I smiled to myself as I knew the mistakes I made would not be repeated and now I know the important things in life and the importance of making sensible decisions and if I lived my life with these principles, I knew my life would be beautiful once again and if the yellow light ever started flashing in my life again I would be ready to deal with it.

NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD TURN OUT LIKE THIS

2010-01-24T14:10:00.002+08:00

i thought i could get over it all, that it was just just another barrier in my life. but it was more than that, it still is. i'm a person who would never let go of things without a real cause. yesterday we took kiara back & kai jun told me her dad's taking her to his work place.. i'm sure she'd be taken cared of from now on.. gonna miss her & you too. wish you all the best.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

2010-01-21T19:25:00.002+08:00

people say that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. i finally believe that's true.. all these days i've been beating myself up for what happened and never thought i'll move on. but life goes on right? so yea, so i have to move on too... & eventually i will. maybe soon we'll be friends again? who knows eh? oh well... school is totally torturing now! it's like damn stressful! aiyo, i hope i don't get into major depression or go psycho!

will update soon! love you guys(:

IHATEYOU.

2010-01-10T18:07:00.002+08:00

so, it finally happened. after almost a year of what might have been pure torture for you.

i should have listened, to everyone.. i should have listened to everyone BUT you! i was foolish, i didn't.. i went through hell but stuck with you. my whole family was falling apart but i didnt let you go! so now, first week through my most important school year you decide its time to let go?! damnit, i asked you 2 days ago! i asked you repeatedly cause you weren't treating me right! but you said nothing! i'm supposed to be studying right now! you skrewed it up!

i've never cried so badly ever in my life! you made it happened, i hope you feel great about it.(vicki, thanks for comforting me) you know what you've taken from me, you know what you've done. think about it, & dont expect me to understand anything. cause there's nothing to it but lies. 2 days ago i told my friends i should break it off with you, but i didn't cause i couldn't. how foolish of me eh? look what life did to me for making the wrong decision. i guess i deserve it.

Screw you

2010-01-10T17:44:00.002+08:00

yes screw you (not you but HIM)

F. you.

anyway,

i hope that your next girl will just screw up your life like how you did to mine.

oh wait, maybe you won't get one.

(: take care, bye my love.

OHYEAH!

i had a great, no awesome gathering yesterday.

it was F.U.N. ) i like i like!

lunch @ Astons,

after that had fun playing at the playground (?)

yeah, after that we walked around Sembawang (hate that place now)

sat down and talked, shared about my life. (:

went home, bathed and slept.

COS' I Was Very Sleepy.

Now, i'm uploading pictures. (for the whole week)

there're so many picturesssss!

i don't know why, but this week feels longgggg.

do you agree?

chem test = tmr. Omg.

Ps./ i find that Vicki is cool. I love her. <3

NEW YEAR

2010-01-05T18:20:00.002+08:00

SO SCHOOL'S STARTED...

GONNA BE A REAL TOUGH YEAR FOR ME, SO I DONT THINK I'LL UPDATE MUCH!

SORRY):

i'm back

2010-01-02T12:07:00.001+08:00

BACK FROM BINTAN!

GET SMART CAMP WAS AMAZINGLY AWESOME!

ALTHOUGH I SPRAINED MY ANKLE PRETTY BADLY...

PICTURES ARE ALL UP ON FACEBOOK(;

got to start getting ready for school, need to pack up my room ASAP!

I'M BACK BABY(:

2009-12-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

I'M BACK FROM INDIA!

NOW RUSHING TO PACK FOR BINTAN TRIP TOMORROW!

I'M TOTALLY SLEEP DEPRIVED!

OKAY, I'LL BLOG ABOUT BOTH TRIPS WHEN I GET BACK, BUT ONLY AFTER I GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP(:

CYA!!

messed up thoughts

2009-12-21T03:43:00.002+08:00

It's 3.45 now and i'm still awake, i'm supposed to wake up at 4 wish is like 15mins away. gosh, i dare not look into the mirror to face my horrible eye bags! anyway, i a couple of hours i'll be flying off to india. the last place i thought i'd ever visit! it's kinda funny when you all the time you think something will never happen but in the end it does happen, before anything else.. & i'm saying this cause this will be my first proper trip far away from singapore.. i've been to bali and some other places but its never really that far.. and now i'm going somewhere far, but its' the one place i never fancied! pathetic huh? i know.. but my dad's like jammed with work 24/7. we haven't been on a holiday with the whole family in like 2 years?

even now, he's taking only taking time off cause of us. for like the past 2 weeks he's been working like non-stop! like around 15-18 hours per day? he leaves home around 9 or 10 and only reaches home at 3 or 4 or maybe even later.. i seriously don't know how is manages.

god, i hope this trip doesn't go wrong what so ever and it'll be a pleasant one. i hope i don't skrew up the trip... & i wanna thank kai jun in advance for taking care of my fishes and plants in fishville and farmville!!!!

&&&&

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE,KAIJUN!(:

ILOVEYOU, SORRY I WON'T BE AROUND ON YOUR BIRTHDAY):

i promise i'll get you something from there, if there's anything nice!!

plus when i get back we're going to bintan!! we're gonna be roomates so we'll have all the time in the world to talk.. you're gonna be stuck with me for 5 days & 4 nights woman! hahah. i can't wait!(:

takecare dear(:

satisfied

2009-12-19T12:09:00.003+08:00

argh, i can't upload pictures):

but but but... i finally finished my 1000 pieces puzzle!

last night my cousin and i stayed up until 4 plus doing it! hahah.

i'm so damn happy, completing my puzzle was one out of many goals i set for myself this hols.

although it's the only one i've completed i'm still satisfied(:

oh, kai jun helped me out abit too(:

and of course my cousins...

SO, THANKYOU!!
i'll try upload pics some other time..

is it just me?

2009-12-19T02:16:00.002+08:00

something doesn't feel right but i just can't seem to figure it out. i'm going off to india this coming monday. i personally don't wanna go at all.. firstly cause i dont fancy going to india and secondly i just have a bad feeling about it. but like always i dont have a choice but to go. i hope i don't spoil everyone's holiday due to my lack of enthusiasm and unwillingness. i better act excited and as though im having fun, i can foresee my dad screaming at me nonstop if i don't.

OUTREACH TO ELDERLY IN THE COMMUNITY

2009-12-18T21:41:00.003+08:00

On wednesday afew of us, drama students went back to school to do CIP together with the badminton students. there we met Dr Maliki who spoke to us and told us we're helping him out with his outreach to the elderly project. he also gave us some pointers on how to interview them and the do's and dont's when talking to an elderly.

After which we had our dinner and headed off to specified blocks in groups to meet our grassroot leaders. there, we were further broken down into pairs.. Xiao En and me were one pair(:

so we headed off with our grassroot leader and went knocking on doors. at the first house no one was home and it looked like it was sold away. so we went to the second house, we managed to interview the elderly there but i wasn't much help cause she couldn't speak english. so mostly the grassroot leader and xiao en did the talking.

after we were done we went back to meet up with others and i managed to take afew photos(:

xiao en & me with our grassroot leader and teacher in-charge

xiao en & me with our survey forms(: our whole group-D2
me & ashley(:

i think it was pretty worth it spending my time helping out, it was quite fun as well!

why me?

2009-12-13T15:09:00.002+08:00

kai jun left for genting last night! hope she has fun(:

oh well, so now it's just me, myself & i.

i've been living in plain emptiness ever since yesterday.

i keep wondering.... why was i born?

role model, not.

2009-12-10T19:04:00.000+08:00

Kristine's leaving for australia like tomorrow! i hope she has fun and meet loads of cute guys(: hahah. i'm gonna miss her like crazy!

takecare babe!!

anyways, i'm kinda upset now.. do you have like this person you look up to? maybe they might be sort of your role model? well, i have one.. or had one.. argh, i never wanna have a role model again! i mean they know you look up to them and you inspire them.. they seem to care for awhile but then they just do the most annoying thing! okay, i need to chill.

hmm.. i think i might blog again later..

oh, i finally got my mp4. was supposed to get an ipod but my older bro took it and gave me his creative zen X-Fi2. i dont really mind though(:

BEST FRIEND

2009-12-09T17:14:00.004+08:00

first time i'm editing pics so i hope it isn't that bad!

firstly, i wanna thank KRISTINE ANGELA ENRIQUEZ ANTONIO!

for helping me change my blogskin
for always being there for me
for being the first friend i made in chr!

there's tonnes of other things to lost down and i could take days! this year was filled with quite a number of rough, disappointing moments for me.(those who know me well will know why) and i have to admit kris & me have had our bad moments, our quarrels and even days when we vent our anger out in each other. but i'm glad to say our friendship has made it through and its only grown stronger(:

oh, just to let you know babe... there's 24 days left till our friendship officially turns 3! hahaha.

the kristine i know now, is very different from the kristine i met one the first day of sec 1. some of you think that first impression is what determines everything. but if i had believed in that kris and i wouldn't have become best friends at all. cause believe it or not, we started off as enemies. so it was the first day of school and we had to line up in two rows to go back to class and kris happened to be standing beside me so i smiled at her hoping she'd smile back. but instead she rolled her eyes at me!

so... the first impression i got from kristine was:OMG, she's such a bitch! then in class she sat beside me and introduced herself and we started talking. but we were very different from each other and we didn't get along much. we started having quite a few quarrels and talking behind each others backs. we pretended to like each other just to find more rumors to spread..

after awhile we both got tired of it and we sat down to talk. after that we decided to start over and from then till now we've been real friends! come to think of it, i never really got along with most of my good friends the first time we met.. hahah. from this i've learned that never judge people by first impression.

anyway, i was browsing the web and came across this, its tells us the difference between simple friends and real friends..

Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong...
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls. A real friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

personally i quite believe this.. don't you? i'd like to end off by saying thanks again to kris for being my friend and putting my with all my crap and emotional breakdowns all sudden hyper-ness and happiness! ILOVEYOU(:

lazy ass

2009-12-08T10:51:00.002+08:00

i've become a totally boring, lazy ass! this is so not good!

so... ESTHER:let's go rollerblade! i'm free like everyday so just tell me when(:

KAI JUN: are we running in the evening?(:

okay, i simply have nothing to blog about.. i'll think of something real soon though(:

see ya!

comfort zone

2009-11-30T18:55:00.001+08:00

So, I’m slowly getting my life back on track.. The past couple of weeks have been filled with break downs, sulking in my room all day and completely wasting my life away. I’ve also been sick for the past week, been having bad cough and flu. I’ve been having bad headaches as well, which I found is actually migraine when I told my dad about it last night. Anyway, I’ve made up my mind that things have to change and the only way is for me to step out of my room and actually start doing stuff. I realise I’ve got this bad habit, I always lose interest in what I’m doing and in the end I just leave things as it is when my main motive was to change things. For example, I’ve wanted to complete my 1000 pieces puzzle since last week and it’s just been lying on my table.

My room has always been the place I run to, no matter what happens it’s like being surrounded by these particular 4 walls and that particular wooden door makes me feel safe. It’s my comfort zone against whatever I’m facing and usually I run to my room leaving my problem unsolved and never go back. So the problems just keep haunting me.

Yesterday when my dad bought me my laptop, I was kind of behaving like a spoilt brat insisting that he got me the one from Fugitsu or lenovo instead of compaq. And the same thing happen when I wanted to get my camera, I wanted Olympus or cannon but he got me Fujifilm. Okay, this has definitely got to change. And the worst part is I didn’t even thank him for buying them for me. Like he told me yesterday, I should appreciate what I have instead of wanting more. I never realised I’ve changed to the worse. But it’s better late than never right? Maybe I’m going to start writing him short messages each day. I’m not too sure yet but I’ll have to do something. Plus he’s always so busy I rarely seem on weekdays. The only time he has to spend with us is on Sunday.

I’m glad to say that my week didn’t start out too bad. Although I only woke up at 1, I managed to clear out my old laptop and transfer my files over. I also managed to brighten up someone’s day, its funny how we’re so used to acting so plastic on the outside but people start to question us about how we feel we start pouring out all we’ve been hiding. Sad to say that’s how I am too but I’ve been trying to control my emotions and not lose mind so often. It’s funny how all it takes is a friendly question to really find out about one another. Though some tend to prefer to keep to themselves, others seem to be waiting for someone to open up to. Talking to her made realise quite a number of things. I’m going to start being less self absorbed and help more people out. So I’ve made a few plans after 2 weeks of total “me” time.

My poor tomy just puked, I wonder what’s wrong with him. He keeps making weird noises while he’s sleeping. Hmm.. Maybe he’s just dreaming. Can dogs dream?

back from the dead

2009-11-30T01:10:00.002+08:00

HELLO!
i can finally update my blog regularly! just bought my new laptop at sitex(had to pester my dad nonstop for it though) i saw shawn there on friday, he's working there but sadly i didn't buy my laptop from ASUS. anyways.. i bought a new camera too! my mom's gonna freak when she finds out! hahah, okay i better go sleep! nights(:

I'M BACK FROM HIBERNATION(:

2009-10-05T13:05:00.002+08:00

okay it's IT lesson now and Jon & Kai Jun are getting me to update my blo0g, twitter and facebook! hahah. it's been so long since i blog man! i have no idea what to say! vicki's standing behind me now.... she's scary!(kidding) the comp lab is damn cold!! Jon's singing to himself.. oh! Jon cut his hair and he looks super different and more fierce now!

okay, i shall blog again soon.. exams are around the corner so GOODLUCK!(:

IN SCHOOL, FREEZING COLDDDDD

2009-07-15T09:40:00.003+08:00

guess what?!

im in school now!

and vicki's got flu!(H1N1?!)

she's beside me blogging too!

its raining and the comp lab is super coldddd!

okay okay, i can't blog for a long long time after this cause my lappy's confiscated):

we're learning how to use photoshop now,

seems fun to use so i shall listen!

see ya!

i miss you....

i hope this ends soon.

HOME SWEET HOME.

2009-06-16T21:53:00.002+08:00

guess what?! the lost dog's owner came to pick it up this evening! cool eh?! she must have ran out while the gate was open or something. the funny thing is i still dont get how she ended up on the 12th floor! i mean if my dog ran out of house, he'll take the lift down.. but this funny puppy ran up to the 12th floor?! hahah. anyways, the owner looked really happy to get her back & she was damn excited too. i'm so proud of myself, i did a good deed!(im kidding)

i woke up damn early cause the puppy wouldn't stop barking and got my maid to make her a bowl of milk after brought her down for her walk. came back up, played with her awhile and showered her. after that fed her some of tomy's food. & that practically took up my whole morning. it was worth it though, i guess? then had my shower & talked to xiu qi online like after 342434 days! okay, maybe its not that long... but you get what i mean right? ate my late breakfast & headed out to meet the team for volleyball practice. im starting to get anxious about it after today's training. i think we're seriously short of time! but i guess we'll have to make the best out of what we have. im tired.. hmm.. im actually waiting for someone to call me. gosh i miss him.

LOST DOG, HOW SAD.

2009-06-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

i found a dog outside my house yesterday, i dont know how it got there but it's really small & doesn't even have a set of proper teeth yet! im guessing someone put it there. but maybe im wrong uh. she looks damn pityful la! and she's scared of everything! she's teething so she bites me but it doesn't hurt much. she's damnit cute! my tomy wants to mate with her but we dont allow him cause i think she's only 2 weeks old?! so yea, he's really mad and keeps barking at her. anyway, here's some pics of her!

she's teething! she bites, but it doesn't hurt!

i love her blue eyes!!!
i think she's gorgeous!
if no one comes and get her after we put posters up, we might keep her(maybe) or give her to someone. i hope we keep her! hahah. okay i better get going or i'll be late for volleyball practice!

WHAO, SHOCKING.

2009-06-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

OMG! mitchal just called me, i got a total shock! hahah. i was super happy that he called that i screamed after he hung up & my cousin joined in the screaming without even knowing why im screaming! Anyway i just realised that my mitchie is 1 month old today! okay, im off to bed now(:

NO MORE HIDING.

2009-06-13T21:14:00.009+08:00

WHOOPS, DELETED!!!!(5/10/09)

some friends aren't worth wasting time on..

anyway.......

my cousin's like tossing and turning on my bed right now. he's bored & im bored. i didn't step out of my house at all today! i wanted to go jogging but was too lazy in the morning and it rained in the evening. so yea, couldn't go. studied awhile in the afternoon with my cousin. it's my dad's birthday tomorrow and my mom asked my cousin to make him a card. so i was helping my cousin out and ended up making my own card! we spent hours in my room making the card la. but half the time we were fooling around and he was dancing around. oh, he has a damn nice ass man! like seriously! hahah. anyway, here's a couple of pics of our cards(:

.

okay, mostly is pics of mine. its plainly cause im lazy to upload more. he doesn't read my blog cause he's like 7 or 8 so yea, it doesn't matter! oh in the first pic there's a box of cookies! i think the box is pretty just like my card! hahah. mitchal & me got the box of cookies together. he got mr happy & i got little ms sunshine! hmmm.... i like my card! im not giving to my dad obviously cause its not a birthday card its.. just a card? hahah. i think im gonna turn it into a diary or something cause it has quite afew pages and i can add more if i want! cool right?! oh and my cousin's card doesn't look that bad either eh? he put in quite alot of effort to get it done, he drew a cake inside it too! cute right?! okay, im blabbering! i think im gonna shower and watch tv or sleep, since i've got nothing else to do. i hope i will wake up to go jogging tomorrow!

there's like 12 days left..

hmm.. i'm following something my friend told me..

im not even sure if its right!

hahah. but i hope it is.

how are you? is it tough in there?

im sure its nothing you can't handle right?

err.. im being weird now!

takecare, loveyou!

STUCK IN THE PRESENT.

2009-06-12T22:16:00.003+08:00

so today's 12 june & mitchal's in ns. sometimes things happen so fast that you just can't believe it. anyway, i had to go to ICA building today to redo my IC cause they didn't take my thumb print properly or something. my mom, younger bro and cousin went along with me. at the counter they had me waiting for 45 minutes cause they couldn't find my documents, they thought it was lost! finally they found it and they did everything again. after which they said my picture is too bright and can't see my face clearly or something. dumb school! take picture also never take properly! then went to take my picture and headed off. the good thing is im not in school uniform in my IC photo. the bad thing is it too so long!

after that we headed to cathay to catch a movie, we watched the ghost of girlfriends past. i think the movie was quite nice uh. my cousin who is like 8 was sitting next to me. halfway through the movie he asked me what's condoms and i was like errr... just watch the movie! i shouldn't have brought him along. after the movie we walked for long long time.. simply walked around.. walked pass cityhall, suntec, esplanade and other places i can't remember. on my birthday i went to all some of these places with mitchal.. i miss him. anyway, then we took a bus to somewhere and everyone ate except me. my dad picked us up and we came home!

i feel so lazy now a days.. in a week's time i've got volley ball competition and my parents say we're going to bangkok on the same day. i can't miss the competition and i dont know if they will change the day anot. i guess they might just leave me in singapore. whao then i'll really be alone man! kris & sher are overseas, mitch is in ns and if they go i seriously will be alone! hahah. it might be fun though, i think.

hmm.. i think i better start spending my time in more progressive ways now onwards. tomorrow gonna wake up early and go jogging with my cousin and maybe after that get some homework done.

they say that it'll be 2 weeks till i see you,

hmm..if its true then there's 13 days left(:

i'll keep myself busy with stuff till then,

you takecare & im looking forward to seeing you!

iloveyou!

MOMENT IN TIME.

2009-06-11T19:07:00.003+08:00

hmm... every one's leaving me! kris has gone to Philippines & mitchal's going to ns tomorrow! i got so many people to miss at one time la! so unfair! i bet i'll be talking to myself alot & don't be surprise if i turn insane the next time you guys see me! hahah.

anyway, just now was sitting around talking to mitchal. oh btw, i think mitchal looks like an alien! but a cute one la! so yea, we were talking about him going to ns and coming out really tanned. i told him i'll get him sun block and he has to put it on everyday. imagine how gay he'll look la! everyday before he go for his training he will apply sun block and all the guys will laugh at him for sure! oh, and this smart ass just went to get a new phone cause he renew his plan. he got the same phone i lost 2months ago! the funny thing is he's going to ns tomorrow and he can't bring his new or even his old phone in cause both is camera phone! when his bro & dad were looking at his phone he keep telling them to remember to put it back for charging as if he's gonna use it tomorrow. gosh, i can't believe he's going ns tomorrow la. no more seeing him everyday, no more silly moments, no more alot of stuff! im gonna miss him crazy! you better takecare uh! don't try stupid stuff kay? i sound like some nagging auntie! but too bad, you gotta deal with it! hahah. I LOVE YOU ALIEN/EMLO!(:

THE ISN'T HAPPENING, PLEASE.

2009-06-07T11:14:00.002+08:00

my dad found out i've got a boyf, and now im so dead! last night he took away my phone and i the worst scolding of my life. i don't know how to get through this. what am i supposed to do? gosh, everything's so skrewed up. its all my fault..

there's like 4 days left till friday and i dont even know if i can get to see you. im so sorry. what do you think i should do? damn, im seriously sorry.

FEEL SO HELPLESS

2009-06-05T23:32:00.002+08:00

i feel damn frustrated and confused right now, can't even sleep it off. i guess its finally sinking in for me that soon i won't be able to see as much. we'll be living two totally different lives then. you with ns all the time and me with school. all these while i've had you by my side, i dont think i've appreciated you enough. now that you gonna go ns soon i feel that time is never on my side. i guess that's what they mean by time flies when your having fun. i dont know what to say already, i've got so many things on my mind.. but i just don't know how to type it out or even tell you about it.. love you.

6 days left.

THE SWEETEST THING YET.

2009-06-01T19:12:00.007+08:00

this video is made by mitchal. i watched it at his house and ended up tearing. he got me by total surprise! i never imagined him doing something like this. its the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me and it means alot to me. mitchal.. thankyou, iloveyou.

now my mom knows i've got a boyf. i wonder how im gonna get through this now, it seems totally impossible. just got off the phone with my dad and he says he's gonna be real strict with me from now on.. he's already so strict i can't imagine what's next! i promised mitchal i'll make his remaining days happy but now i dont even know if i can meet him. im so sorry if i can't mitchal.. like i said before if i ever have to leave you, i'd come back. you'd wait right?

FEELING SOMETHING NEW.

2009-05-29T17:03:00.003+08:00

you know, something might seem as a small thing to you.. but to others it might mean alot.. or might hurt them alot. like for example, being there for a friend.. it might seem as nothing to you but for the friend in need, it'll be the best thing ever.. at least for that period of time.

have you ever felt that all the favours and effort you put into this one person for so long has all been forgotten? like everything has been taken for granted? if there was a way to turn back time and undo what ever you did to this person you would? to just leave them to suffer in their misery cause you know what the outcome would be in the end?

well, all i have to say is... dont think that way.. cause well, even though it might feel totally useless if the person doesn't appreciate it, you did a good thing.. you have all rights to be proud of yourself. as for the other person... wth is your heart?! or are you made of ice?!

okay, this is a total random post.. my head's spinning after going out with sher, kris & jamuna after so long. i had fun although was feeling a little down.

♥♥MY PSYCHO LOVER♥♥

2009-05-20T18:30:00.004+08:00

i know this guy by the name of mitchal lim & he happens to be my psycho lover! and he has an older brother who is just as psycho as him. this 2 shouldn't be together in the same place man, if not the people with them will go crazy! trust me on this, i've been through it! haha. they will other constantly insult you till you wanna rip their heads off or they will make you laugh till you cry and you'll still continue to laugh! so yea, never meet this 2 crazy people together and if you do... you better be prepared! mitchal asked me to blog about this, i think he really wants you guys to beware. hahah. but the 2 uh, are damn lovable brothers la. always laughing and making fun of each other & mitchal always tells me he loves his brother alot. damn sweet right?! have you seen people who are psycho & sweet all at the same time?! i think they're one of a kind man. hahah. should i be honoured to say that... i love a psycho, yet sweet guy? i hope so!

♥♥iloveyou♥♥

IT SEEMS SO PERFECT.

2009-05-19T18:44:00.005+08:00

hmm.. i dont know what to blog but i feel like blogging. first thing first.. tomorrow we're gonna get our exam results! i bet i did really badly! oh! i know i confirm fail Amaths & D&T! so yea that won't be a suprise tomorrow. haha. hmm.. i shall post again tomorrow and tell you my sucky resuts!

hmm.. it feels great now. seeing you happy all the time, and i'm happy too. some stuff you say to me are seriously damn touching and meaningful. & those times we've spent will never fade. i'll always be here okay?! haha. & don't worry, i'll make your remaining days happy & memorable! iloveyou(:

STAY HOME DAYS CAN BE MEANINGFUL TOO.

2009-05-17T20:39:00.005+08:00

today i woke up cause of someone's sms, but took me 2 hours to get out of bed. by then it was already 1 plus. showered and had lunch. watched tv awhile then laid on my bed and did nothing. went through some of my old drawings and dairy too. couldn't help but laugh at the things i wrote in there last time. chat with mitchal throughout the day, he was as bored as me! oh, that big bully said he misses me! shocking but touching as well!(: haha anyway, someone say he will call me back but didn't. he's talking to me on msn though. humph. too bad! that doesn't count! so he better call me back or i'll be super angry with him! haha. im kidding! im just super bored. oohhh... guess what?! mitchal's house black out! & he's alone at home! if i were him i'd freak out and cry! he's living in darkness now, good luck to him!(:

hmm.. if you realised, i changed my blogskin! but i didn't do it, kris did! haha. thanks a million babe! oh and dear? being here for you is seriously nothing much to me! i mean what are friends for right?! plus dont waste your tears on that jerk! if he's playing with you he'll pay alright? haha iloveyou!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MITCHAL!

2009-05-16T20:46:00.002+08:00

on may 15th was mitchal's birthday!

here's what we did..

after maths paper ... me, kris, chris & xiu qi went to causeway and had breakfast while waiting for the stores to open. then we headed to get his present & his cake. i wanted to suprise him at his house. so we lighted up the candles,got everything ready and went up to his house. in the end, he suprised me by not being at home! only his bro and girlf at home! so we blew out the candles and waited at his lift for him to come home. when he came, we sang him his birthday song at the life lobby! haha. headed to his house to cut his cake and eat. after that watched incredible tales with everyone, kris and xiu qi kept screaming man! haha. then slack around, while they played with his ds and psp. after that they left, and soon his cousins came over. talk to them awhile then left for home. sadly, his birthday wasn't how he wanted it to be... sorry!

MITCHIE & BIG MAMA ONION.

2009-05-16T20:28:00.004+08:00

now im gonna post all the details about mitchie & big mama onion!

first is mitchie

NAME : MITCHIE

(on the right)
D.O.B : 13 may 2009

HEIGHT : 38cm

WEIGHT : 244 grams

FUR COLOUR : TAN

EYE COLOUR : BLACK

BELONGS TO : VARSHA(ME)

next is big mama onion!

NAME : RYUKI TADAKATSU

NICK NAME : BIG MAMA ONION

D.O.B : 1 MARCH 2008

HEIGHT : 36cm

WEIGHT : 255 grams

FUR COLOUR : CREAM

EYE COLOUR : BLACK

BELONGS TO : MITCHAL LIM

haha, okay that's all about them that i know so far!(:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2009-05-16T19:38:00.007+08:00

hmmm... all my major papers are over! only got D&T paper left on monday! yay! anyway, on the 13th was my birthday! it started out damn terribly but ended well though.

here's what i did, went to school and did my physics paper. after which went to causeway with xiu qi. kris & chris said they had to go home early and cabbed off without us. then i got an sms from kris "dont show varsha, where you going to now?" i burst out laughing when i saw the message and passed it to xiu qi. she started screaming la! i knew they were up to something! haha! then went to meet them at banquet, they bought a cake for me! so sweet of them la! i cut the cake and we had fun. i dont have any pictures cause they are all with xiu qi. i'll try get them from her and post it up! anyway, after that they accompanied me home and i got ready and headed out to meet mitchal.

we trained to cityhall and went to make my bear! she's called mitchie! hahah. after that we walked to the esplanade. we took photos there.. so here are some of them(:
.

the esplanade!

me staring into the water; taken by him without me knowing!

another candid of me!

this is his bear, he calls him big mama onion. but that's not his real name, its.... i dont know what... im trying to ask him on msn now but he isn't replying so when i find out i'll tell you!

this is mitchie and big mama onion.

his bear and mine(:

these pics are edited by him, he kept them a secret and made me go crazy waiting!

haha. i think its really nice of him though. thankyou! it means alot! & see?! i did post them on my blog! haha. lastly, before i go off... a picture of me and him(:

thanks for the day out mitchal, i really enjoyed myself!

btw, we aren't together. he's my best friend, or that's what he calls himself!(:
anyways, iloveyou!(:

SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT

2009-05-09T21:42:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIAO EN!

iloveyou!

hmm.. today was kinda boring. my dad woke me up by banging on my door at 12 plus. then i showered & ate my breakfast. some how still felt sleepy so i fell asleep on the sofa. woke up and watched more tv. went for tuition at 5.30, dad sent and picked me up. okay, this is a real boring post. sigh, that's exactly how i feel now.

exams are so stressful man! i haven't gotten to studying yet. hmm.. i've been sulking throughout today, yet the feeling still hasn't gone away. wth is wrong? what did i miss out? i've thought through practically everything but i can't figure it out! till i find out i bet i'll being the lifeless me.

hmm.. tomorrow is mother's day. so happy mother's day to all mothers! including mine even though we're always quarrelling!

SUCKY LIFE, ARGH.

2009-05-05T19:30:00.003+08:00

i've been thinking. i don't know what happened.. i feel so numb now.. oh well what ever i told you shermaine, im still thinking about it. i've got something made up in my mind. but its gonna affect everyone. including you, figure it out if you can(:

haha.. nothing to blog already, im getting more & more boring nowadays. damnit. good luck to everyone for mid-year!(:

NEW BEGINNING

2009-05-03T15:05:00.003+08:00

my bro took my laptop for the past few days, so i haven't been blogging. hmm.. i have no idea what to blog now. all i know is that this few days i've been feeling real happy. now i've just got to learn how to make it last. i don't wanna lose anyone right now, especially not you. & my bro's treating me nicer thanks xiao en & ashley spending time with him. hahah.. they told me quite alot of stuff that im glad to hear. thanks guys! iloveyou! & ashley thanks for that prank call in the middle of the night!(:

hmm.. you know when your happy, there's this one person you'll think of whom you'd want by your side? you'd want that person to always be happy as well? i know i've found my special person. & the best thing is, he's my best friend. never heard of him uh? hahah. he'll know who i'm talking about!(: the thing is, i can't tell when he's really happy or when he's faking it. but i plan on figuring it out, plus now i've told him what i kept a secret all this while. i wonder what he thinks.. hahah. i'll blog again soon(:

PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME(:

2009-04-27T19:24:00.005+08:00

just got back home. freaking tired & my head's throbbing like crazy. but i made it through the day, with my fever & cough! had mother tongue test today, then math test. i didn't do the math test. i simply slept cause i couldn't stand the head ache. after that had D&T, guess what?! the damn Mr Toh dont wanna teach us la! then keep making that loud ear peircing sound with the mike, it was damn irritating! then had assembly, some performing arts thing. after that went to meet someone, was angry at first.. but then everything faded away. something freaking funny happened after that! haha.. only the 2 of us know(: then played monopoly & i lost! i bet he must have cheated la! hmm.. after that went to eat, then met up with sher & chris. chat for awhile before heading home. i think today turned out to be not bad. might be 1 of those days that i'll always remember...

I FEEL LIKE AN OUTSIDER

2009-04-26T16:59:00.002+08:00

I'm having fever,flu, cough & throat infection. i just broke my record today, in 4 days i've gone to the doctors 2 times. cool eh?! gosh, my temperature is like 39.6 now. i've been piled with medicine & my head feels like its gonna explode. on thursday got gastric problems now this. if my fever don't go down im gonna have to go for an injection! i've got a huge fear of injection, shermaine should know! she saw me freak out when i had to go for a blood test. doctor gave me mc for 2 days, monday & tuesday. wednesday having english exam. i hope i don't skrew it up. the damn doctor ask me to gargle my mouth with salt water to heal my throat. its freaking disgusting la! oh & i haven't done any of my homework at all. im so dead! i feel so dead now, no energy at all. & this dumb shermaine is being all hyper for no reason! she's insane i guess. oh well... i think im gonna sleep again.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.

2009-04-23T13:41:00.002+08:00

Didn't go to school today, xiu qi didn't go either. we met and went to the doc.. just came back from poly clinic. im like damnit pissed with my younger bro! idiot touch my lappy and cause the bloody thing to hang! didn't even tell me anything, and when he saw me come home, quickly left house. argh! shall blog again later..

MAYBE I MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.

2009-04-20T19:05:00.003+08:00

Woke up all excited about the release of eldds results! but guess what?! it isn't out yet. damn depressing man, we were all sitting together all excited & when i ask Mr Isaac, he says it isn't reviewed yet! then listen to Ms Foo talking about stuff.. went for mother tongue oral later which i really skrewed up! next lesson teacher didn't come so we had free period, talked to Amos, Christine, Jing Rong, Shermaine & Steven. then we started playing this dumb game with the dictionary which turned into a real sick game! the few of them will know why!(:

next we had PE, Mr Yap seriously knows how to kill us man! made us to do 3 suicidal & run 6 rounds. but after that he allowed to rest by lying down uh.. it helped quite alot. after recess, we had D&T test and i kept laughing during the test.. we're all not honest people man! after school went to do something then went back to school. played volleyball with friends, got a chance to vent my anger out. slack around with shermaine later, went to get ice cream and whip cream, then headed to some place & stuff ourselves there. walk walk awhile then came home. damnit boring post, i know. well, sorry. i had other things on my mind that i was supposed to blog about, but i changed my mind. anyway, im hoping the results come out tomorrow.

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING

2009-04-19T21:52:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's monday! the day of results! i hope we got silver man! argh, excited & the suspense is killing me! good luck to us! okay, i don't know what else to say.. so i'll blog again tomorrow to post the results! seeya!

LOST, BLINDED FOR A MOMENT.

2009-04-18T18:09:00.003+08:00

feeling so lost. you know when your supposed to plainly talk to someone about something but things go all wrong & it ends up in some sort of quarrel? when you didn't mean to blame someone but couldn't help it cause you were hurting so much? then you find out the truth behind it & you simply start hating yourself for being stupid? you wanna apologise but you know it won't do anything good, you know it doesn't mean anything anymore.. what do you do?

THE WORLD'S COMING BACK AT ME.

2009-04-18T07:45:00.002+08:00

last night was ultra weird man! seriously all kinds of stuff happened. i shall list them down.

ben called me suddenly(cheered up me though)
my ex from a year ago calls me & tells me he loves me(ultra scary!)
the guy i used to like long ago contacts me(we simply talked)
i quarrel with someone out of stupidity(SORRY!)
i'm talking to the girl who likes him & we sort of became friends(not expected)

yea, so i had another sleepless night. i'm still shocked from all that happened last night. && im so sorry ashley i can't go celebrate your birthday with you!):

FEELING SO LIGHT.

2009-04-16T17:37:00.004+08:00

I just came home from school. school's getting more and more tiring.. but at the same time it never fails to be full of fun and laughter! hmm.. lets see.. first lesson was geography & teacher didn't come for lesson! Amos, Wei Xun, Hui Hui & me talked about loads of stuff and fooled around. after that had tamil lesson, teacher was having a terrible headache so she gave us a surprise test. after that had physics & teacher never come again! i was reading my book & fell asleep, xiu qi fell asleep too, christine woke us up an hour later saying it was recess already, time seriously passes by fast man! the rest of the not that interesting already.. after school had chemistry class taught by Ms Chong, she said she'll cry if i fail her chem test tomorrow la! i think she quite okay now, i used to hate her at the start of the year. went to eat & get stuff for my notice board later with xiu qi and headed home.

hmm... so i did something i've never done in my life before yesterday. you saw me in a way no other guy has ever seen. seriously i don't regret it, after holding back for so long i finally let it all out.. now i'm able to feel so much better, but i doubt its the same for you. the day you let it all out, will be the day you'll truly feel happy. i don't know if what ever i said to you yesterday will go to waste, i hope not. you haven't told me anything, or even turned on your phone yet.. i guess you need more time? maybe what i did came as a total surprise to you? haha.. & even if it does go to waste.. i will try again eventually, i simply can't just give up like that.. especially not now.. im sorry but i ain't that kind of person. although i felt quite uneasy not going there today, i still didn't go. i decided to give you sometime just like you asked for, just don't take too long please.

zoe, come on.. cheer up(:

cry it out if you have to and simply move on. it ain't gonna happen, they're your close friends and they will understand kay? i know how you feel we all feel that way sometimes, seriously. but its not point harping on something like that, it isn't gonna help. what's gonna make a difference is if you move on and be a better person dear. iloveyou!(:

SLEEP, IMISSYOU.

2009-04-13T19:28:00.002+08:00

I haven't slept properly for the past 2 days. today was freaking tiring man. kris, please keep to your words alright? i feel so sick, sick of telling people how i feel when they dont give a damn to what i say. babe, please don't be like everyone else kay? now my only everything is like xiu qi. i don't know what to blog already, im screaming inside but smiling on the outside. simply rocks!

o.o2 percent, is that something to be proud of?

i dont know,

im clueless right now.

ily, do i?

LOST, WAY INSIDE.

2009-04-09T20:10:00.001+08:00

school was so skrewed up today, spoiled my day in the morning. got caught twice for sleeping in class in geography. forgot to bring any books for geog anyway. after that had mother tongue, i thought we had oral so i didn't bring books, but end up teacher forgot we supposed to have oral so conducted lessons instead. STUPID ME, had no books & gonna get marks deducted from my SA1. wth man, i think my brain had a major malfunction this morning while packing my stuff for school. practically left all my books at home & brought all the wrong books! anyway, i can't believed i cried in school today. thanks ira, kelly, vicki, zoe, kia wei & amira for cheering me up & caring so much! you guys rock! hmm.. don't know what to say already la. i can't believe every time i help people out they'll just skrew things up for me. oh well, i have to deal with it. didn't go for ELDDS celebration today, sorry guys! i was seriously down. met up with xiu qi & went to have lunch, then walk walk to some place. this group of guys were walking in front of us, then it seemed like we were stalking them, so we change direction. ended up we were all walking to the same place! then this guy come up to xiuqi and say they wanna be friends or something. damn funny lah, she said no. then we fool around for awhile. went for tuition after that, teacher gave me a serious talk. damn im slacking in everything, this sucks! oh well, i think i'm going back to stoning soon. so see you!

yet another day, went there again.. soon its just going to become a daily thing for me. i hope you don't find out & get mad. i don't what about the place makes me feel better. i went there all pissed but left there feeling much better. sigh, why? why now? is it simply fate? hahah, i don't know. im sure i'll figure it out, soon..

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

2009-04-08T18:00:00.005+08:00

I've been thinking, maybe i should give up blogging. haven't made up my mind yet though. anyway, haven't been blogging these few days as i've been caught up with quite a few things. the worst now is Mr Isaac doesn't want to talk to any of us or teach us anymore. he's simply sick of our sucky attitude & our lack of interest in studying. we're sorry Mr Isaac! we've come up with a contract, which all 3E2 members will sign & fulfill it. its not that hard if we help one another. im sure we can do it, we ain't dumb people we're just simply too playful. all we have to do is put in more effort!

we ain't doing it cause we want to, its just that well... we feel things aren't right, we'll talk it out tomorrow.

stuck in the middle, i have no idea what to do. why is it so hard to forget you? it hurts to see you like this & not bring able to do anything. i don't know why.. but, i went there today again, xiu qi accompanied. i think we'll go there everyday, i somehow feel better being around there. even if she doesn't accompany me, i'll go there at least once a week. just so i'll feel better. i hope you're alright & will soon feel better. i'll be here, if you ever need me.

SATISFACTION ROCKS(:

2009-04-04T17:14:00.006+08:00

deleted this post,

i feel so lost.

IT'S OVER(:

2009-04-02T21:33:00.003+08:00

SYF'S OVER! like finally! feels so damn good man! the best part was the way we went crazy in the drama room after that! totally awesome! okay, i've got to catch on my sleep now since the stress is over! will blog more about soon! btw, photos are up on facebook.. uploaded by rachel, marie & ashley! im off to bed, nights!

& get job ELDDS members! you guys rock! iloveyou!(:

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

2009-03-31T22:57:00.003+08:00

i'm having sleepless nights. like seriously, ever since sunday night.. i'm like dead tired but yet can't fall asleep. most of my friends should know cause they see my dark rings & huge eyes bag. & even if i do fall asleep its only for a short while.. get damn pissed off & agitated in the middle of the night. i've also got fever & im loosing my voice cause of it. i told my dad about it, he says maybe its because of something on my mind which is bothering me. could it be? i don't know, he asked me to take some pill just now to help me sleep better, but im afraid its not working. well, there's only 1 thing i think of before sleeping everynight.. & if that's the reason i can't sleep suddenly then i don't know what to do. or maybe its cause SYF is like on thursday?! i don't know man. oh whatever, im off to stonning now. cya!(:

WHY DOES IT KEEP HAPPENING?

2009-03-30T20:10:00.003+08:00

stuck in the middle of everything. i honestly don't know where to begin. i've realised that i trust one a little too easily, thinking you'll never back-stab me & will keep whatever i tell you to yourself. i know now that i was wrong, way way wrong. cause you. you, lied to me.. got everything out of me & told her! how could you? what did i do to you? ira... im seriously disappointed beyond words can describe. how could you? of all person you. i guess to you, her friendship is more important huh? maybe im not a good friend? well, it's your decision.. i'll accept it, i don't have a choice anyway.

i'm sorry for whatever i said last night, i burst out on you.. sorry. i guess i couldn't take it anymore, i mean holding it all in not the forgetting you part cause that's something i can handle. its not that hard for me, & you know i care for you. you said you didn't want to drag me down, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe that's what i want? to actually be there for you as a close friend & cheer you up? you've always been keeping things to yourself all these while, i know its hard to open up to someone now.. but why not give it a try? & stop feeling sorry for me, cause i don't feel sorry for myself at all, im not innocent either kay? i don't mind you taking you anger out on me, or anything else.. but i mind if you keep it in all to yourself. cause look at you? there's no change at all, your still the same as you were before i even knew you. why not trying letting someone help you out, in someway or another? hmm.. i don't know, its up to you.. but i doubt i'll give up(:

I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY

2009-03-30T01:01:00.002+08:00

i actually blogged, but i removed the post. somehow, it isn't important anymore. so yea, those who read i don't think you would have understood it. anyway, it was meant for someone who doesn't even know it. whatever, got school tomorrow! i better sleep soon(:

DISAPPOINTED.

2009-03-27T20:06:00.003+08:00

today had meet the parents session, mr issac said alot of things about me to my dad lah! stressful man! i wonder what's gonna happen to me later when he gets back! oh well, i guess its my fault too. anyway, someone was upset i didn't blog about her yesterday & also cause i said i don't love her anymore! so i shall do it today, EZT(esther zoe teo!) iloveyou!

you better be honoured kay?!(:

im dead tired & im gonna stone now, so cya!

2E3(O8) OUTINGGG!

2009-03-25T23:06:00.005+08:00

SINCE I MANAGE TO SOMEHOW FIX MY LAPTOP,

I SHALL POST PICS FROM 2E3(08) CLASS OUTING!(:

while waiting for bus.
finally the bus came, look at what everyone did on the bus...

the guys and their gadgets!

kristine and her newspaper!

ashley and her camera!(sorry its blur)
xiao en & esther were sitting with their backs facing me so i couldn't take a photo of them but they were talking and listening to music.

taken while walking to east coast park.

look at the 3 lah, cross road like their father road like that! hahah.

i have no idea what wei xun & eugene looking at.

candid of the 4 guys! look at their faces man!

finally reached east coast and we went to rent bikes/skates.

after which all those with bikes disappeared and left me,esther & kristine skating alone. we seriously couldn't find them!

kristine tired after blading halfway!

esther, she skates fast!
after that it started raining & the 3 of us went to coffee bean to wait for the rest. once they came there, we went to the bowling alley. we wanted to bowl but it was packed so the rest went to the arcade while xiao en, esther, kristine & me sat down to eat something

xiao en enjoying her mee siam.

kristine's so happy she got tom yam,like finally!

poor esther, she was sick.(our class chairman!)
that's all for the pictures of the outing! i think ashley has more, so visit her blog. she hasn't posted them up yet, but if she does then your lucky! okay, im talking crap! i've got a fever now, my temp is like 38.4 and im shivering like crazy! i'm gonna go sleep soon! nights!

before i go, a picture of me& kristine!(:

NIGHTS!(:

BAD LUCK ALL AROUND

2009-03-22T19:32:00.002+08:00

i haven't been blogging for awhile, those close to me will know why. everythings been going all wrong for me! the holidays has been full of bad luck! how great is that?! anyway, i hope the start of the school week will be better.

yesterday went for 2E3's(08) class outing! not many came but we still had fun. those who came were ASHLEY, ESTHER, XIAO EN, KRISTINE, EUGENE, ANDREI, WEI XUN AND SHENG DONG. xiu qi & alfred were supposed to show up but they went for lunch and movie on their own. anyway, me esther and kristine rented skates and the rest rented bikes. the quality of the skates is freaking bad! they were damn painful! after skating, our feets were freaking pain! poor esther wasn't feeling well, i hope she's better now!(: it started raining after awhile so went went to coffee bean and rest there. later we wanted to go bowling but the place was packed! some of them went to the arcade while me, kristine and xiao en ate our lunch! went back after that with krisitine. i don't think i'll be posting any pictures till next time. i think you can find them on ashley's or esther's blog!(:

ITS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE.

2009-03-16T21:28:00.001+08:00

i've got nothing to blog, actually i've got alot to say but i just don't know how to say it. i keep asking myself, are you happy? do you have that sense to live on and not give up? the truth is, i don't. i don't understand why i'm going through this. does everyone go through it? i hope not, or else everyone will feel like smashing their heads against the wall and bleeding to death slowly instead of living through life, smiling. okay, i becoming gruesome. this is kinda a pointless post. i'm hoping that i don't really give up in life and die a slow and painful death. i guess im trying to encourage myself, in some gruesome way but its not working. okay, i shall go sleep now(:

TIME FOR A CHANGE?

2009-03-13T18:28:00.004+08:00

hmm.. two whole months have gone by, guess what i've achieved?! nothing!

how great is that?

list of things i did:

1) quarrel with chanel

2) get together with mitchal

3) get into trouble cause of rumours

4) quarrel with kristine & xiu qi

5) get back as besties

6) things go wrong with me & mitchal( break up)

7) quarrel with kristine & xiu qi, again

8) get back as besties

9) settle things with chanel & councillor

1o) quarrel with parents cause they can't stand me

11) quarrel with parents cause councillor called them(chanel & me problem)

12) started tuition

13) skrewed my exams

14) pay more attention to my dog(after so long!)

15) fool around all the time

16) get into trouble again

so yea, out of the 16 things i can think of, only 12 & 14 is good! & of course the parts i get back as besties with my friends too but we shouldn't have fought in the first place! see how i waste my time away just like that? finally, i actually see it too! how cool is that?! i spent 2 months of my life practically doing nothing with it! hmm.. i guess that explains the wonderful results i got! will i actually be able to do better next term? will i manage to concentrate and get my work done? achieve results that will please my parents enough to not kill me? prove certain people wrong that im not that dumb? gosh, there's alot of work to do and so little time! oh well, its worth a try(: hmm.. i still remember promising xiao en that we'll study together and help each other out! xiu qi, you'll get your study group too! ookay! i seriously got to strengthen my time management skills! time to think man! & its for a good cause, finally!(:

LUCKY ME?

2009-03-08T11:07:00.002+08:00

wasn't feeling well for the past 2 days.. had high fever & went to see a doctor on friday, vicki accompanied me. xiu qi came to meet me awhile later. thanks alot guys, iloveyou! xiu qi saw me cry when i had to go for a blood test man! total unglam moment! she even took a video of it, she better not show it to anyone or i'll kill her lah! hahah(:

.anyway, the reason i've been sick is cause my blood has some kind of infection which caused me to have sore throat(my throat was swallon), bad flu, loss of appetite and high fever(4o degrees!)

my temperature has finally gone down but throat is still as bad, so if im coming to school tomorrow i won't be talking much. i sound totally sucky!

i haven't done any homework at all!

haven't studied for social studies test tomorrow,

didn't do any of my online homework,

haven't started on my D&T mindmap,

haven't studied for english vocab test,

and haven't done maths homework!

damn! how how how?!

my loves for friday is:

vicki, she took time off her day to accompany me to the doctors

xiu qi, she also accompanied me & has been checking up on me too(:

iloveyou!

my love for yesterday is:

tomy! my dear doggie!

i was in bed throughout the day,

i didn't play with him or anything cause i didn't want him to get sick too.

guess what? he sat in a gave everyone a pouting face the whole day,

didn't even eat till i came out of the room.

gosh, i love him!

hahah, he's finally allowed to enter my room!

WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

2009-03-05T20:04:00.004+08:00

just got home, today's a tiring day! went to school then for eldds. we had full dress rehearsals today, so my bag was extra heavy. hmm.. let's see if there's anything interesting to blog about...

ohyah, im totally skrewed up at home. day after day, scolding after scolding, lecture after lecture. im simply sick of it all. what am i supposed to do? i just don't feel like talking to him, cause everything i try it always end up with me getting slapped! and now cause i don't wanna talk he's trying to be as harsh as possible? damnit, i've got no idea what to do or say already. why must they be so over protective? im gonna sleep now, dead tired. nights!

my love for today is: speedy, made me laugh like crazy!(:

2009-03-03T20:34:00.003+08:00

first day of A maths! it went pretty well, believe it anot i actually understand! but im full of careless mistakes! example, just now my tutor ask me to do a question then the answer and my answer totally different! he check my working and say alot of careless mistakes, then i correct them and solve it again.. still wrong! then he stare at the question after that told me to redo everything. i did the whole damn question again and guess what?! WRONG AGAIN! he finally found out my mistake! GUESS WHAT IS IT?! I COPY THE QUESTION WRONGLY! damnit lah! i freaking bang my head against the table after that! hahah! okay, im damn tired now. gonna shower and maybe sleep.nights!(:

damn! i've caught a cold!):

my love for today is: ********* actually that doesn't represent anyone.

the person is..... KRISTINE!(:

she was so excited when i gave her the kinder egg today!

iloveyou!

2009-03-02T21:18:00.003+08:00

this is something i was supposed to blog about last week but it slipped off my mind.

anyway, here's the thing. i need a favour from you guys, whatever you've heard about me & chanel cause of a guy named mitchal... put it aside please? let the matter rest.. it's all a simple misunderstanding & cause of it.. people are starting to get upset and stuff, pity them & me cause i've got to go through quite alot too and just stop talking about it kay? those who love me & are my friends will stop this, i trust you guys!(: loveya loads!

& & mitchal & me? is no more! so yea, no more questions kay? except from my beloveds, i know they do it out of care & concern(: we're now just friends, nothing more.

i find no reason to be all emo about what ever happened. im not saying im some emotionless ass, all i can say is i did cry but what's the use? what's the point? is things gonna change if i cried? obviously not, so yea why not smile and just you know carry on with life? i bet i were to be all emo and crying non-stop about whatever, xiu qi & kristine will freak cause they've never seen me like that before. plus i'll skrew up all my tests for nothing again. might as well just jump off a building then spoiling my whole future right?! so yea, my new motto! SMILES ALL THE WAY!(:

& he's not a mean ass or anything like that so don't go hating him,

people have their own feelings it's their wish, just so happened that me & him weren't cut out to be together. but we'll still be friends(:

i've decided that i'll pick one person out of all the people i've met in a day, as my love. so instead of having one person. who'll be your one & only. stuff like that never works out for me anyway. i'll just pick a random person that has either made me happy, sad or angry & love the person. BUT BUT BUT it's only for a day! hahah!

OHYAH!

KRISTINE! BE LIKE ME LAH! MORE FUN! LESS STRESSFUL!(:

today's love: esther!(she made me laugh with her crazy dance moves!)

yesterday's love: the crazy guy who cut my hair, besties will know why! shh!(:

2009-03-01T09:25:00.003+08:00

my lappy's gone crazy! damnit! my younger bro got it infected with virus! argh! don't think i'll be blogging much till it gets fixed. im freaking skrewed up now! anyway, we're all still close friends, just like always.

see you guys & takecare!

2009-02-26T19:20:00.002+08:00

what's gonna happen? where's it gonna end?

sigh, people were born to gossip like what vicki said, that's totally fine cause i gossip too.

but what if the people you least expect to be back-stabbing you, are the actual people doing it? what if your love life isn't a perfect one & yet you have to face tonnes of problems cause of it? what if you know of some bitch you totally feel like killing but you just can't? you suck at your studies & your social life's getting skrewed up too?

okay, here's what you do... just HECK CARE! i mean come on?! why be all emo and stuff for no reason right?! you'll feel down all the time & everytime something happens you'll only feel worse. then you get all suicidal, and start wishing you were dead! what if you didn't take things so seriously? wouldn't you enjoy life much more? & be able to smile like you mean it? if people are gonna hate you for doing what you want, they aren't your friends & you shouldn't let anyone hold you back in doing what you want. but but BUTTT! i don't mean you neglect your true friends! cause sometimes you need people's opinion of you but just dont let it affect you too much, if you dont think what people say of you is true and your confident that your a good person then be what you are! plus they are the people who should know you best!

hmm... i know your stressed dear, all of us are. but don't think too much about it alright? & PLEASE DON'T THINK SUICIDAL! OR I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!(kidding)

THIS POST IS A MIXTURE OF MY FEELINGS BUT IT'S FOR FIONA LIM!<3

SIGH, THERE IT IS AGAIN

2009-02-23T20:51:00.004+08:00

okay okay, i think my other post isn't so exciting. it's rather emo man! so skrew it, i shall blog again! here's what happened today, went to school like some loner, cause some people cabbed to school together with out me!(xiu qi & kristine) humph! such great best friends i have right?! leaving me out all the time! hahah! gotcha guys! im kidding(: don't go all crazy and emo cause of something i didn't mean okay?! anyway, went to class and fooled around with xiu qi, i was bullying her cause of... ahem... kristine will get it and xiu qi will totally hunt me down if i state his name. so yea, those who wants to know who he is, TEXT ME OR CALL ME! hahah!(i bet xiu qi's burning up right now if she's reading this!) anyway, im kidding only lah! im super lame now, but I DON'T CARE, its good to loose your mind and go crazy sometimes okay?! maybe for me its more than sometimes but who's counting man?!

back to the story... first period, social studies teacher didn't come some old guy came in to relief us. guess what vicki & some others did?! they fake to him saying that we had to design our class tee and stuff. when he allowed we went behind and started playing a game called "silent library". its a game mairah thought us, its something like truth or dare, but i think it's better than that. the things i had to do was... lick the floor(thanks to mairah!),run up to some guy(ranen) and scream H-E-L-L-O!(thanks to vicki), do a hula dance(thanks to xiu qi), get my ear pulled by 2-3 people(thanks to zoe) & i think that's all. the others had to do some funny stuff too! fun right?!

next lesson... PE! gosh mans we had to do it in the wet field cause the sec 5 class was using the parade square lah! so unfair! we had to run like crazy, do push-ups and some funny funny kinds of damn tiring exercises lah! covered in grass and mud after that lah! all the while kia wei kept asking me & zoe if our angle wings were red(only some people will understand why). after that had maths, got math test on friday! gosh! im gonna fail again! VICKI! i want my tuition! faster faster! gosh, me asking vicki for tuition?! so awkward! hahah! actually, she's quite smart but always acts dumb!(:

got scolded during english period cause we didn't hand in our work, not all of us, only some. after that was assembly. i'll rate this one of the most gross yet funny assembly talks ever! kia wei, me & vicki were plotting each other's funeral while the guys behind me were darn excited about the talk going on.(i shall not say on what!)

ELDDS practice after school! exercise again, but only our warm ups luckily! did something new. then back to our play! after practice, went to pizza hut with kristine & xiu qi for dinner. xiu qi came home with me cause she's got tuition, slacked at my house for awhile then she left, she was late for tuition!

okay! this is a much better post then the other one!(:

& kristine cheer up!(:

i wanna scream, i wanna cry.

why is this always happening to me?

i don't know, maybe im just not cut out for love.

anyway, i don't think i can hold much longer.

it simply hurts too much

WHO DO YOU TURN TO?

2009-02-23T20:41:00.003+08:00

today went well, i guess. no fights, no quarrels, no frustration. but there's always tears. tears that no one knows about, not kristine or xiu qi. neither vicki or even you. no one knows, no one will. so here's the thing, who do you turn to when you've got no one else?

oh and guys, don't get angry that im not telling you certain stuff. cause its best that certain things aren't said. iloveyou(:

somethings are just not meant to be,

some word are just not meant to be spoken

& some people are just never to be.

CHANGES

2009-02-22T02:19:00.002+08:00

People have changed alot over the holidays, some to the better & some to the worse. i know i've changed too. but im yet to know the results of it. if you don't like the results then please come and tell me straight. anyway, this isn't about me. there's one person whom i know who has changed over the holidays and that's vicki. i was hurt & i regretted being friends with her then, but we talked things out and now she has changed. i'll admit that then i said i wouldn't be close to her, but now after seeing the new side of her i don't think there's a need to stay away. plus looking at how things are now, i think she's more understanding towards me than most people are. i'm not trying to praise her or anything(vicki, don't change back cause of this) but it's the truth that i think you must know. anyway, you talked things out with her too didn't you?

okay, i think we need to talk. kristine & xiu qi, i think mostly i need to talk to kristine. seems like your unhappy about quite alot of stuff and have been holding grudges. if we talk at least things might get settled or turn to the worse, but its worth a try.

TURNING POINT!

2009-02-21T20:49:00.002+08:00

Day spent well! stayed at home and fooled around with my mom, dad & younger bro. my grand mother came to visit too. dad showed me his collection of old notes, its darn cool. he says they'll cost a fortune in the future. mom constantly keeps bullying me saying im fat, i admit i am! maybe mom, me & younger bro might go swimming or gyming tomorrow. watched tv with family, i kept screaming at my mom asking for my macaroni! she promised okay! she's making for me now(: okay, my food's ready! cya!

.before i go... i wanna thank ashley, esther, xiao en & cheng yan for their advise and also for cheering me up! plus vicki too! you guys are the best! iloveyou!

i guess mr issac's words make alot of sense.

vicki, you get what i mean ehh?

sigh, im constantly missing someone today.

FIRST & LAST?

2009-02-17T19:59:00.004+08:00

what a wonderful day i had, things can't get any better than this. the day was going fine, until the 3rd period, the school counsellor looking for me. talked to him for an hour to settle some stuff things were going fine till he mentioned calling my parents.i freaking lost it alright! was fuming mad till i teared, left his office and went to talk to my friends. cooled down and went back to see him. talked about whatever nonsense again then went back to class. classmates & friends are so freaking caring... examples.. LEEXIUQI, VICKINGWANTING, KWOKKIAWEI, ALFREDTOH & MANY MORE! all of their silly nonsense and smiles cheered me up like crazy, iloveyouguys!

after school, went to sunplaza with xiu qi, kristine & unknown. the trios ate chicken rice while the unknown ate some weirdo food! after that went to library to drop off my books and bumped into amira & adnan! he isn't that tall anymore! I've grown taller! yay me! all the while i was trying to get some sweetie pig to wake up, then finally he answered his phone and we all went to meet him. he looked super ultra funny! he just woke up and was in his home clothes! anyway, i passed him something and he said he was shocked. kept guessing that I'm passing some kind of bomb and it'll explode once his home. sat there for awhile in total silence, tonnes of words flowing through my mind but just didn't know how to say them without crying. so we just sat there. i didn't even have the gutts to look into his eyes. unknown got bored and called me over, when i was explaining what's going on to him, i cried. like wtf!! then someone saw and came over, i was like running away from him. finally gave up and typed it out as message and sent it to him. told him to go home after that and he left. cried after he left,then he called and asked me to meet him under his block. there, he passed me something which totally shocked me. with folded paper. bid farewells again and went to look for the others. went to sunplaza and rested at coffeebean. all the while was texting him and he came to look for me. left the others and went with him to spend sometime. he made me walk like SUPER long then we got to this place, told me he used to go there with her often. i felt super honoured to be there. we talked, stoned, watched birds and fishes. we watched each other too. the one thing i love about him are his eyes, i find the darn interesting for some reason. don't ask me why! i found out her name today, seriously i couldn't be happier, my ultra sucky day turned into a totally memorable one! thankyou thankyou thankyou! you totally rock!

he still loves her yes, & i totally regret that she's not around. cause i know she's his happiness. i never wanted to replace her & I'm fine with what i am with him. I'm his girlf, she's his soul, heart & much much more than me, wanna know the truth?! I'm totally fine with it! all i want is to be there for him. its a give and take thing, not that i expect everyone to understand. I'm not some person who demands 100% of the guy, especially not from a guy like him. so, i don't need anyone to butt their asses in places where their not supposed to be. you can go ahead and skrew up my life as much as you want to. what's gonna happen? most to most, I'll be forced never to contact him, get totally skrewed up at home & loose all my freedom. there's one thing they can't do, that's to stop me from loving him. whatever we've been through, every word he's said to me, every touch of his... will never be forgotten. so if you gain some sort of happiness by doing what ever your doing, go ahead. all i want to say is, stop and think of all the times I've helped you like with your bill, spent countless of hours with you and accompanied you when your feeling down. its entirely up to you, we could have always talked things out, instead of taking things to this extend. oh well, your choice. maybe your just trying to prove to me something,but i still don't think is true.

anyway, it was nice having you as a friend.

TWO-FACED!

2009-02-09T19:29:00.002+08:00

So much for thinking everything was fine, that we could be as close again. seems like i was foolish to believe in that. i basically tell everything i can, updating you everynow and then. but you don't do anything like that. you barely call me now a days, well maybe its my fault? damn, i miss the old days where we would talk till early in the morning and go to school with dark rings and horrifying eye bags. well, i guess this is what they mean when people tend to drift apart when we move ahead to sec 3 and end up in different classes? i hope we can change how things are, put away our fake smiles and all, just to be like what we were before. sigh, i don't know what to say.

i guess the proper thing is.... sorry?

yet again, things go all wrong. when is it all going to end? i've had enough, seriously. realised im neglecting my close friends more and more just to settle things with you. im disappointed with myself too, i guess its right for them to think im a disappointment. stop it please, all the two-facing me, thinking that i don't know what's going on behind my back and that your always suspecting me. anyway, just know one thing, i believe in retribution, your not gonna gain anyone's love by doing what ever you are alright? so please, just stop it. i think you should have realised your just driving your friends away from you. think a little, for your own sake.

A heart changes, i know

but this heart will always belong to you.

A heart hurts , i know

but this heart of mine hurts more without you.

i think this so-called poem is nice

& seriously applies to my life too.

AND YET AGAIN.

2009-02-07T14:06:00.004+08:00

NO GOODBYES!

things got sorted out yesterday between me and Kristine,

so yeap, we're best friends again(:

I've got to say something, my time management skills are real sucky! i planned to sleep early last night and get up early to do all my over due homework, but what i ended up doing was sleeping till 1 plus, then chat with someone on msn. go back to my bed, stare into blank space and then back to msn again. chatted with someone till around 4 plus-5? both of us were super tired and we decided to go sleep after that. my dad woke me up around 10 plus and i screamed at him, cause i was damn tired.

woke up at 12 plus finally.

now it's already 2 plus and i haven't done any homework at all!

okay, i better go start doing now.

things have been sorted out finally,

I'm sick of all your nonsense,

the fact that is i know what you're up to,

but i just can't be bothered anymore,

when will you learn that I'm not that dumb?

that you can never fool me at my own game?

well, let's just wait and see eh?

I'm sorry, it feels as though I'm using you,

i seriously hope you understand what I'm doing.

i don't want things to end badly again,

not this time, not anymore.

2009-02-06T06:31:00.002+08:00

new day, does it mean a new beginning?

well, i hope so cause i can't take it anymore.

took time to think things through yesterday,

if things don't go well then i guess its gonna be a goodbye.

yes, i admit i've been real sucky.

maybe i've chosen the wrong way to deal with things this year?

cause of everything last year? maybe i just didn't want to get too involved?

but i realise i've doing things wrong.

today's the day to set things right!

wish me luck!

2009-02-04T23:40:00.002+08:00

LOUIS! YOU SUCK!

STOP SKREWING THINGS UP BETWEEN ME & CHANEL!

NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND ALRIGHT?!

DON'T BE SO PROTECTIVE OVER HER!

IT'S HER LIFE MAN!

2009-02-04T21:01:00.002+08:00

okay, firstly i need to apologise to various people.

kristine, xiu qi, chanel & him.

i've skrewed up big time, i know. all i need from you guys is to trust me and give me a little time.

please forgive me, i've been a total ass i know. but i hope you guys know i don't mean to hurt you or anything. it's just that im having a bad time that things keep going wrong or something? or maybe i've been loosing focus on life, either ways, im sorry.

& iloveyou.

to a special someone:

you've got to trust me, i am seriously alright.

& you should be too, no more apologising please?

no more hating yourself or anything,

you had your reasons and im not mad, not one bit.

smile, cause that's what i've been trying very hard to make you do.

iloveyou,....... my special person, i always will.

2009-02-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

dreams of the tomorrow,

own the shattered soul,

pride is lost... wings stripped away,

the end is near in time.

this is my version-unknown

simple sense of satisfaction.

2009-02-02T19:58:00.003+08:00

you never did say anything at all, how was i supposed to know you trusted me? and that you would be hurt or anything like that, all i knew was that I'm just a regular person. but what you said changed everything, I've grown fond of you, more than before. the fact that you said you thought i was the only one you could trust. although i skrewed up big time and i doubt you still think that way of me, it is more than enough. plus you saying that i was the girl you admired? well, I'm sure i can live with that throughout. at times i may feel real down, yes. but the look in your eyes the other day, the pat on the back right before you disappeared will always live on inside me. all the tears I've shed silently have not gone to total waste i presume. damn, i had alot of things I'm mind to blog about but now everything's gone and replaced with an empty feeling. all the fake smiles i had to force, all the pain i have to hide, it all seems so impossible to do. but i don't have a choice, I've to live it through, just for you. i don't want to put you in a tough situation, to save you that decision, I'll live it through. i hope this means something to you, I've concealed alot of things in this post, but only you know it. i sincerely apologise for everything else too. lastly, I'll always keep my promise to you. i hope you at least trust me on that. iloveyou.

NOW, I SEE THROUGH THAT FAKE SMILE OF YOURS

2009-01-30T20:00:00.004+08:00

I skrewed up my math test today! yay me!

another day of school, another day of total insults for kia wei, xiu qi & vicki. we're like calling each other names like bitch, slut, bimbotic, whore and many more. but of course we don't mean any of it, at least i think we don't(:

.after school, went to seoul garden with chanel. then a group of chr people came. they happened to be friends! mario and friends with su ying and friends! mario is such noisy guy & he's a real bully, so are his friends! had fun though(: cabbed home after that and read someone's blog, or rather his stories. believe it or not. i got so upset cause of the posts there i cried, and i left home with my dog and walked like some crazy person for 2 hours and got myself lost? well, believe it cause it's true! came home and continued reading through. i think whatever he said is real sad and touching and oh he writes real well!.
.

okay, im off to stare into blank space!

CRAZINESS

2009-01-29T19:45:00.005+08:00

I GOT FOOLED BY CHEMISTRY TEACHER! I STAYED UP STUDYING FOR A TEST THAT SHE CANCELLED!

anyway, due to my lack of sleep i was super crazy today. the funniest thing is kia wei was my target for the day! i kept insulting her for no reason and calling her names! i told her i woke up with a mission to insult her! kia wei, if chance by my blog... I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING I SAID TODAY BITCH!(kidding!) she's my class chairman, and she's so funny!

VICKINGWANTING & LEEXIUQI ARE TOTALY WASTED MY POST ITS DURING MATH LESSON JUST TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES!

LOOKK!

SEE HOW MUCH THEY WASTED?!

xiu qi wasted more than vicki though, here's what she did....

i have no idea why she drew a chicken in the purple one and named it after my dog!

that you'll have to ask her yourself and about the ultra man too!

they kept using purple and pink so i said use green instead and this is what xiu qi did! just cause it was math lesson, she came up with stupid algebra sums with crazy solutions.

here's a closer look! and you can just ignore the I LOVE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ thing cause if you love a person will you want to hang him? all i can say about xiu qi is, i pity her boyf! now i know what she has planned for his future and it isn't a bright one!

here's what artistic Vicki did!

here's a closer look!

yeap, so that's all!(:

and i doubt i'll get much sleep tonight so watch out vicki! cause your next on my list!

cya!

DECISIONS

2009-01-28T18:16:00.005+08:00

home sweet home!

grr, super tired! got tonnes of homework and tests coming up! i can just freaking die already! haven't studied at all and I've got a bad feeling that my chemistry test is tomorrow and Kristine told me there's geog test too! i feel like ignoring everything and just going to sleep. but then someones been bugging me to study all these while, he'll be super upset if i don't do well! argh, decisions are so hard to make at times like this. what would you do if you were me?!

empty

2009-01-27T23:05:00.003+08:00

COOKIE'S GONE HOME, KINDA MISS THAT LITTLE FELLA!(:

haven't done any homework.

feeling rather empty.

2009-01-25T20:51:00.005+08:00

I've got 2 dogs right now!

TOMY & COOKIE!

I'm being a real nice friend to xiu qi and taking care of her dog over the CNY holidays cause she's in Malaysia. she sent her dog over on Friday and we brought it for grooming. after which cookie came to my house. along the way home bumped into the Australian teachers from our school and they complimented on cookie's new look! some other passing by did so too. at home i got cookie settled in at the balcony nearest to my room and fed him. my dad wasn't happy about having another dog at home so i got scolded. when my mom came home, cookie got transferred to the balcony at the main door. i was damn tired so i decided to sleep early and guess what?! both dogs couldn't stop barking at each other! at 2 plus i woke and my mom screamed at me saying that my dad and her can't sleep cause of both dogs! then, i brought cookie into my room. he finally shut up! but tomy continued barking through the night, cookie was so damn hyper and kept me up. the next day, i wanted to tire cookie out so i brought him for a 1 hour walk/run. in the life back home, i bumped into this guy staying on the 6th story of my block. here's the conversation we had.....
.

.
guy: hello, is it a pom?

me: yea.

guy:oh! there's another one living on the 12th floor right? err.. if im not wrong it's tomy right?

me: yea, tomy's my dog.
guy(shocked!): oh! now you've got 2 poms?

me: hahah, this is my friend's im taking care of it cause she's away.
guy: oh, so are both of them having a great time playing with each other?

me: yea, they didn't even let me sleep!

guy: hmm... so both of them were the dogs barking last night right?

me: you heard?! whoops! hahah!

guy: yea! it was loud, i bet the whole block heard them. hahah.

me: uh oh! you better not tell anyone it was from my house!

guy: sure!

me: thankyou! bye!

xiu qi! see what cookie did?! anyway, i left him at home and went out with chanel after that. came home around 8 plus and brought him for another 1 hour walk. there's another story of what happened but i'll save until you come back, cause im simply lazy to type it out. so, back to the topic, last night neither cookie or tomy barked, both of them slept. lucky me, i got some sleep! chanel woke me up this morning and i asked my younger bro to walk cookie while i showered, then i left to meet chanel. came home around 5 plus and brought cookie out to walk chanel home. okay, here's some pics of cookie!

look at him on my self, doesn't he look like a soft toy too?!

he's camera shy!

he's licking his nose!

he's blending in with his new "friends"

he's staring at you!

he's staring at my laptop!

he's staring at the light!

wanna know why?!

cause he wants to sleep!(:

okay, had enough of cookie's pictures xiu qi? hahah. i miss you!(:

lastly a picture of my dear tomy! who's like damn upset cause he can't enter my room thanks to cookie! and i've been neglecting him and taking care of cookie instead!):

okay, im off to feed cookie! he's starting to whimper already! oh and xiu qi! have fun in malaysia! don't worry about cookie(:

how much can be captured?

2009-01-22T18:52:00.003+08:00

once you've lived through a day, you can never get it back. have you ever had that random time when your walking with your friends like every other day of your life but something urges you to take a mental picture of that moment? it happened to me today, and that's the reason i kinda became silent guys!(xiu qi & Kristine) even with pictures, through emotions can never feel the same twice cause of the same thing. you might feel happy, sad or whatever yes but they will always be a difference. argh! I've got one wish that no one will be able to grant me, it's to capture the time I'm truly happy and give it to me. i don't even know if it's possible! damn! i have no idea what I'm trying to prove.

oh well, back to reality. just reached home, now on the phone with Kristine now(: went for ELDDS after school, went to "confront" someone before that. got loads of homework today! damn! plus got relatives coming over, their going to back to some part of Australia this Saturday and never coming back. okay, off to shower and then entertain guests!

2009-01-21T13:24:00.004+08:00

I'm supposed to be in school now! but thanks to my damn sore throat and flu I'm at home! been sick for the past 5 days! finally decided to go see a doctor today, waiting for school to end and xiu qi to come over, guess what she's bringing me as a get well soon present?! HOMEWORKKK!!!!

bored bored bored!! oh! I've got to start studying! got 3 tests coming soon! err.. English, geography and social studies! all the 3 subjects that i don't pay attention in! how lucky can i get?! oh and over the Chinese new year holidays I'll be baby sitting xiu qi's dog! i already have a dog which i totally neglect! kidding! i love my dog!(: oh, xiu qi! cookie's gonna have a great time at my house! i bet he wouldn't wanna go home with you after you get back! hahah! gosh, i think she's gonna kill me when she reads this post of mine.

oh! i happen to be browsing through my pictures and found this!

XIU QI! remember them?! okay, I'm being random!

gosh! staying at home is so boring! even when I'm sick! argh! school's taking damn long to end!!

2009-01-18T23:17:00.002+08:00

I'M BECOMING SUCH A LAZY ASS!

NOT BLOGGING OR COMPLETING MY HOMEWORK!

hmmm, ohwell that's me!(:

gotta wake up real early to head to school to complete chinese new year decoration!

tomorrow's the last day! gosh, im so last minute!

will update soon, i think?

cya!

loves!

2009-01-12T20:14:00.002+08:00

JOINED ELDDS LIKE FINALLY!

kristine and xiu qi joined together with me!

oh and xiao en too(:

it was pretty fun and xiu qi who was forced to join by me got one of the main lead lah!

shows that she got potential right?! she should thank me instead of grumbling man!

anyway, after that went to toast box with xiao en, ashley, xiu qi and kristine.

it's been quite awhile since went out with ashley and xiao en,

was nice to go out with them, just like old times!

headed to popular to get some stuff after that then went home(:

TIREDDDDD!

i'm gonna sleep then study later(:

nights!

2009-01-10T18:11:00.001+08:00

THANKYOU KRISTINE!

FOR CHANGING MY BLOG SKIN!

LOVE YA LOADS BABE!

2009-01-09T20:55:00.002+08:00

the past few days of school has been quite tiring.

3/2 is alright i guess, glad alfred's there to cheer things up with his nonsense.

came home and slept, mom woke me up and told me my dog was missing.

jumped out of bed and ran around looking for him.

mom found him, he nearly got knocked down by a car right infront of me.

i can't imagine how i'll ever get over that.